Trust by Rachel Barletta, CT
When you meet a stranger, what makes you decide whether they are a safe person or not? Often we make subconscious calculations about how safe someone is by the time we’re halfway through our first handshake with them. But what about experiencing betrayal from someone close to us? That breaking of trust can be just as painful as physical loss. It brings with it waves of self-doubt, and often a deep wariness of future relationships.
For some people, trust was dismantled in childhood by unpredictable parents, abuse, or unexpected tragedies. When this happens, people find it hard to listen to their intuition. They’ve learned that close relationships are risky, and that trust opens them to experience hurt.
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.
– Proverbs 29:25
For this reason, many people move through life isolated from fulfilling relationships—accepting a familiar discomfort over an unfamiliar risk. This isolation furthers the cycle of distrust, as people often find that making themselves small actually works, and that they remain unseen by the help they wish would find them. Where do we find God in these themes of trust and distrust?
God is trustworthy, but often our experiences influence our perception of Him. God is the essence of every good thing. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:17) However, it can be hard to imagine a perfect and trustworthy God when our human examples (including ourselves!) fall short. Consider how you may be expecting God to treat you the way people in your life treated you. God is the perfect Father, but your own father was an imperfect man. While the temptation is to pin human flaws on God, the truth is that God is unchanging, and we can trace His faithfulness through history and in our own lives. “For I the Lord do not change…” (Malachi 3:6)
Trust does risk hurt, but we are not powerless in our relationships. When we learned that closeness opens us to hurt, we were correct. However, isolation also comes with unseen hurt. The reality is that healing often occurs in the context of connection with other people. The patterns of distrust we learned can be unlearned through new patterns of faithfulness and kindness. Discernment is required in building relationships, but discernment can also be practiced. We are not as vulnerable as we were when we were children, nor are we as inexperienced as we were when the first betrayal happened. “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
– Proverbs 3:5-6
At Hope Counseling, we understand how difficult it can be to rebuild trust—whether in relationships or with yourself, or even God. Our clinical Christian counselors walk alongside clients with both professional expertise and compassionate faith, helping them navigate the pain of broken trust and rediscover the safety that comes from resting in God’s steadfast love. If you’re ready to take a step toward healing and connection, we would be honored to walk that path with you. Please feel free to contact us to schedule an appointment using the link below.